Counting the Minutes

The day began a little slower than I was expecting, but that only means I had more time in the morning to watch my wife sleeping. No, not the heavy breathing, creepy type watching, rather it was the quiet, admiring type watching. My wife is one of those people you admire and when you take the time to know her she will literally knock your socks off. Or if your lucky she might actually take your socks off, because that is the type of person she is to serve others before herself. However, tomorrow is our anniversary and to prep I took a few days off this week to spend time with her as we enjoyed each other's company. It was taking time to enjoy my wife that I often take advantage of on a daily basis. ## Coffee, Coffee, Coffee Today we christened the day with a brief stop at a local coffee house in Redlands called Augie's. Definitely a staple in this area for those who love coffee and a welcoming atmosphere that is off the beaten path. It was my wife's first time so it was nice being able to take the time to show her a place that frequent to get away from the bustle of life to spend some time reading or discussing the Bible. After we each got our coffee and tea we sat at a small table near the front door. My wife started reading some blog posts and checking in on her Etsy shop, while I cracked open my faithful Moleskine notebook and started penning a few more blog posts. Though as long as we are together what we are doing doesn't so much matter as much if we are together enjoying the day. It is the moment, not the action. For a few minutes my wife chuckled at herself with the occasional "ah" escaping her lips as she read across from me. I on the other hand at least once of twice contemplated buying an official t-shirt or mug to wear back at work as a badge of honor. I collect t-shirts, not sure why but I find wearing odd shirts with funny or odd phrases on them as a good conversation starter when I meet new people. There were a few places we wanted to visit today while we had the chance, but alas, everything we checked seemed to be closed on a Monday. While we contemplated on what we should do next the barista noticed a frequent customer cat who sat on the top ledge of the building and stared in through one of the three large windows above the counters. This particular cat watched intently as another barista started pouring milk and syrups into the next line of drinks, her head bobbing up and down with each movement. A casual rhythm that felt hypnotic to those watching. Her careful observance of a prize she'd never receive almost seemed heart wrenching, but she peered away content to be the watching observer. The minutes droned on and as I penned a little more of this cat's fictional story she wandered down from the window to seek out a few scraps from the customers below. Opportunity was knocking for her. ## Seek Not and Find You Will The adventure in marriage comes every day even in the mundane. I would have to say that one tip about marriage came to me as I watched that cat. Always seek the opportunity to be where you want without the need to be constantly rewarded. Not sure if that cat knew that she would never receive the prize, but how much we can learn in our marriages to not always seek a reward from our spouse. There have been multiple opportunities in my marriage where I know that the places my wife wants to go are not the places that I want to go. However, I forget constantly that the location of my joy is not a particular place, but who I am with. My wife and I generally start doing things and thus find humor, joy, and new life in each other in the places that we least expected it. Sometimes it will be an antique store she's been dying to visit, or it might be a bookstore that I want to browse a few older books in search of one more for my mind to devour. Try new things for your spouse and find joy where your spouse finds their joy. As I said in my last post "[Anniversary: A Marriage Celebration](http://www.justinhough.com/writing-the-journey/anniversary-marriage-celebration)" carve out that time to spend with your spouse in order to know them. If you don't spend the time to know who they are then how can you expect to make it through life living with a complete stranger. Some might argue that if you know them completely then you'll get bored, because their are no new avenues to discover. I would disagree with that because there are always new discoveries even in the things we are familiar with. I've worked on the web for nearly 10 years and I am constantly finding out something new. The same is true for my wife and having known her for over four years doesn't mean that I know her completely, but I am the long-term road to discover everything I can about her so that I can say in the end "I know my wife." She's the college degree that I am trying to earn.